"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
Let me begin by thanking you. Thanks for taking the time out of your own life to peer into mine. I'm aware that we all have busy lives and have limited time and it really means a lot to me that you've decided to spend some of yours this way. So, thank you.
Let me also state that I've never done this before. Until recently, I'd never kept a journal. You had to practically force me to take notes so I certainly never expected I would end up tracking my thoughts in a medium that would allow everyone to see. That was the old me. The old me that couldn't be bothered in disciplining myself to form a habit so beneficial. The me that was too concerned of what others might think. The apathetic me that would find ways to distract myself from my own fundamental beliefs. But I couldn't care less what the old me thinks.
For as long as I can remember I have been mystified. About life. About the universe, the world and the meaning of it all. It's a familiar feeling for most of us. Like you, I'm sure, I would keep myself up late at night pondering my existence and what purpose my life could possibly have. I remember, as a child, I would constantly bombard myself with as much knowledge that I could get my little hands on. As most children do, I would constantly question everyone and everything. It was quite baffling for me, especially considering coming from a religious family. What I had learned from the people that raised me was contradictory to what I was being taught in school. I wasn't sure what to believe, so instead I decided I would just take in as many perspectives as possible. To be open to the possibilities. I can recall spiraling myself into bewilderment by dusting off my grandparent's old encyclopedias and almanacs and drowning myself with information until my head would spin. (Mind you, this was before the internet and the access to volumes of knowledge wasn't as easily taken for granted.) I became fascinated with the known world, science, religion, nature, war, history and the countless great people lost to it, kept only alive by the ink on those pages. What was the point? As a kid this was heavy and I was utterly and completely perplexed.
Fast forward 18 years later and not much has changed. Although, within that time I would learn that I wasn't the only one facing this existential crisis. In fact, these are questions our species have struggled with since time immemorial. Minds much greater than my own have taken on these issues through, religion, philosophy and science and have all come up with their own interpretations and understanding. And so, I came to realize there's no absolute answer. Not yet at least. But perhaps we were never meant to know. Perhaps that would take away from the mystery and wonder and the surprise life brings us. But I digress.
So what am I getting at, you ask? Well, with all of this in mind, I contemplated long on a question. What is one to do with the seemingly limited time we are given? On this seemingly organic spaceship hurling at thousands of miles per hour through space around a continous nuclear explosion. Given all this understanding and realization, what should I really be doing with my time here? The answer is, what I love.
Up to this point, I've been trying to get further in life by taking the path that leads to financial success. Starting through working at menial fast food jobs to of one of the most valuable corporations in the world. By American societal standards this was a path to achievement. But the only real difference between scrubbing fast food soiled toilets and corporate comfort was the amount of material objects they allowed me to own and the main similarity was how unfulfilled I felt. Now, I want to clarify that what I've learned from all of these experiences and the people I've worked with, cannot be trivialized. On the contrary, the ability to do what I'm about to came only from succeeding on that path through the support of my colleagues. Nonetheless, inside I feel I must search for a path more meaningful.
A month before I turned 23 I took an opportunity that opened up to me to travel abroad for the first time. As someone that had only once even been outside the state of Texas, it was an opportunity I knew I had to take and well worth it. I fell in love. In more ways than one. I toured around western Europe and was completely fascinated. The history, the architecture, the people, the cultures, the languages, all of it, so interesting and inspiring. It was like opening those encyclopedias all over again. Inundating myself with new information except, this time with all 5 senses. The feeling of being out of my comfort zone and somewhere completely different was both humbling and enlightening. So much so that I set a goal to take another trip the following year. Except without the restrictions of the rigid travel itinerary. Instead my friend and I traveled with a basic outline and hitch-hiked our way along the western Balkan coast. (The picture above was taken on this very trip.) My fondest memories came from sleeping in tents in gardens, surfing uncomfortable couches and spending nights in questionable hostels. It came with its obstacles but what I had discovered was freedom in it's purest form. Freedom from the routine I had cemented myself in. Freedom from the pressure of convincing myself that doing the things I was unhappy doing was just the way things were. Free from it all.
Then, I had to return. Return back to the monotony of which I had broken free. Back to the path of discontentment. My heart was broken. But I promised myself it was only temporarily so. I've always contemplated life's purpose, our purpose as a species, my purpose as a human. I think the most poignant idea, however, well the most satisfying to me at least, is the notion that the purpose of life is to give it purpose. So far I feel like I haven't lived up to that.
Now it's time I stray off the path again to search for another. Albeit, on this round, a little more dedicated than before. I quit my job, sold my car, and packed a few days worth of clothes to find it. This is me taking the first step to a thousand mile journey. One of adventure. Of mystery, and if for nothing else, to learn more about the world and myself. Living out of my backpack with only the essentials and a camera. This time for as long as I possibly can while I can. And I may not find whatever it is I'm looking for, however, if my previous adventures are any indication of what to expect, then the real joy is in the journey not the destination. I would rather not look back 10 years from now and ask myself “What if?” I believe we owe it to ourselves to take some time to see as much of this Earth we live on, as possible. “Nobody on their deathbed has ever said. "I wish I had spent more time at the office.”
And so this time, and from here on, I'll be tracking my progress. Here on this blog. With pictures to compliment. It's pretty crude now but like most things you only get better with practice so bear with me. It's the least I can do for my friends, my family, my future self and for anyone willing to follow along.
So again, thanks for reading and stay tuned…
Michael